I Don't Know Yet
by Edit
Summary: Sequel to 'My Flower, Her Fire'. Bella and Victoria now have to twist and bend to get what they both want - each other.
1. Guilt

**Guilt**

* * *

I heard the car pull up. I didn't move.  
I heard his pulse quicken when he took in the silence of the house. He probably thought she'd left again. Bella slept on peacefully. I mocked her to my best ability, although sleep was not a state I'd achieved for more than a hundred years.

"Bella," Charlie called out from the second floor, panic accenting his tone. The call didn't reach her slumber on the second floor where we were laid together in the smallest bed. She looked so pretty when she slept.

His rush up the stairs sounded like a stampede. I was nervous he would fall in his haste. Bella would have.

He didn't even knock.

"Bella!"

That woke her.

"Charlie," she gasped, raising her head from where it laid across my bare chest. I faked shock and scrambled to cover us both with her bed's pale blue blanket but not before he got a full view of our state. Charlie is a smart man, but he's also a man that sees only what he wants. I didn't want to give him any room to make a self-soothing excuse for catching us in such a position. He has to know. Bella would be furious, but I believed it really for the best.

At first, his face slipped into an expression of ease as he realized his daughter hadn't run off again. Relief. Then his features seemed to slowly implode as realization of the scene before him sunk in. I try to imagine how I would feel were I a father to walk in on my daughter naked in bed with a vampire. He didn't know I was a vampire, of course. However, I think that is more important than me being a woman.

I'd never slept with a woman. Slept. That's what they call it now, right? Just to avoid miscommunication, I never had sex with a woman before that day. I was raised to think that men were where I would find my satisfaction. After an afternoon with Bella, which I let Charlie interrupt to fulfill the plan I had schemed while Bella slept, I never knew how unsatisfied I'd been. The exercise I put Bella through that afternoon would rival even the busiest pornstar. You would think the dissatisfaction of more than a hundred years that I released on her should have put her in a hospital, but I digress.

"Charlie, get out," Bella squealed, pulling the blanket completely over her head.

The door closed. No. Slammed. I almost thought he wouldn't have closed the door at all and just taken off running back down the stairs.

I had to hold in my laughter.

I could feel the heat coming off her body as she flushed. I was afraid she might faint or lapse into insanity. I slipped my hand under the blanket and poked at her stomach. It usually made her giggle – she's very ticklish. Her red face popped out from under the blanket, contorted in an expression of total panic.

"Oh. My. God," she panted.

"Its okay," I tried to comfort. My voice wavered a bit on the last syllable. I wanted to laugh so badly.

Her panic turned to fury as she glared at me. "How could you?"

She jumped out of the small bed and made a ridiculous effort to cover herself. There was not an inch of her body I hadn't been to yet.

"He should know, Bella," I explained.

Her modesty forgotten, she whipped around the room, angrily searching for the discarded clothes that had been strewn about the room in our previous fervor.

"I hardly know!," she huffed as she slid on pajama pants.

I frowned. The room went silent. Insecurity crept back into my stomach. She may not love Edward anymore, but that doesn't mean she loves me. Maybe this is what she really wanted. Sex. The time I had spent with her had been nearly a constant battle over the action. Maybe she's done with me, I thought.

"I don't mean it like that," she sighed knowingly, slipping a loose shirt over her head.

Weakly I muttered a quick 'yeah,' still not confident in her surety.

Reluctantly, she swept over to the bed, sat down, and grabbed my hand. "Look, I love you." She seemed earnest. "It's just... Victoria, so much has happened and so fast. You have to understand that letting my dad find out about us so soon is just another drama to unravel."

Suddenly, I felt guilty which caused me to grow irritated. I'd never grow comfortable with Bella being able to manipulate me in to being soft and conscientious. I am a vampire!

It did not help my tension when she rose from the bed and back into her accusing mood. "Even if things weren't this way, even if all that just happened didn't happen, it is still monstrous of you to make the decision to... come out to my father without my permission. You didn't even _hint_ you would pull something like that! I would have** never**... with you..." She blushed red.

It seemed what we had just done together had caught up with her.

I grinned.

Her blush deepened.

"Bella," her father bellowed from what seemed to be the bottom of the stairs. "Down. Now!"

"Uh, oh. Looks like you're in trouble," I joked. She rolled her eyes.

Bella swallowed loudly. "I don't even... What do we say?"

"I could tell him I raped you," I offered.

Her eyes grew wide, and with a dead voice, she breathed, "He's going to hate me."

In retrospect, she seemed genuinely terrified, as if she were on her way to the gallows. She really feared that her father would reject her. For a moment I feared I'd truly made a mistake. Maybe Charlie was less liberal than I knew. Was he homophobic? Have I ruined Bella's relationship with her father? Did I really care? The thoughts were calmed when I remembered how Charlie had seemed to know about Bella and I as soon as I'd stepped into his house after bringing Bella home. That all felt like years ago when really it was only days. When time can't be passed with the aid of sleep, it seems to linger around like an unwanted season.

I contemplated taking her hand as we sat at the suddenly extremely tiny kitchen table. It was circular, but we positioned the chairs around it as if it had sides. Bella and I sat to one side, elbows touching, and Charlie sat to the other. Bella ducked her head to her chest as if waiting to be struck while Charlie squeezed his temples with his hands, his head supported by the clenching muscles in his arms. I chewed my lip, waiting for one of them to make a move into discussion. At lease, I hoped it would be a discussion and not an argument. I'd hate to see Charlie shout. He had such an amiable temper, and I wanted to stay of that opinion.

So, to fill the time and tension, I played out scenarios in my head revolving around taking Bella's hand. Would she reject it? Would she embrace the contact? Would Charlie move for his gun?

Charlie took a deep breath and lowered his hands from his head. Bella peered up from the curtain her hair had made. Their eyes met. Bella's were full of guilt and apprehension. Charlie looked defeated.

"Bella," he said after a long while of just looking at her. "Can you please be honest with me just this once?"

She looked down at her hands. "I don't know," she whispered.

Somehow, Charlie's face fell more.

"Mr. Swan," I began, ready to diffuse the situation with my great communication skills. "What Bella means is-" I didn't get to finish.

Charlie's eyes flew to my face with a livid gleam. Standing up so quickly that the chair he was sitting in fell to the floor, he thundered, "Don't speak to me!"

I wasn't shocked at his anger. I was just not expecting it to fall all to me alone. The veins in his neck were showing as the beat of his heart thumped a wild rhythm that seemed to resonate throughout the house.

"You people," he began in a vicious tone cloaked in a soft volume. "You took her, changed her, turned every word she said to me into a half truth, and then broke her all so you could come around to take advantage of her when she's weakest! When I'm weakest! You'll not have her this time," He growled.

I felt actually threatened. He looked possessed.

"That has nothing to do with her, Char-dad," Bella stumbled in my defense, her voice as strong as she would risk with her father in this mood. "She hasn't taken advantage of me." Then, in a quieter voice, "I have fallen in love with her."

His eyes snapped back to her. "God, damn it, Bella! Don't do this again! I won't let you!" He turned back to me. "Leave." The word was as icy as it was clear.

Not sure what to do, I looked back to Bella. Her mouth was open as she stared gobsmacked at her father.

Then I did it. I took her hand. She turned her attention to me. I heard her heart fumble. Our eyes met for a few beats. Very slowly, she took a deep breath, and went back to her father with a new found will.

"We'll go," she said simply.

Rage turned Charlie's face almost purple. Was he breathing? "You will NOT! You have had enough leaving. You will st-"

"I will do as I want. I am an adult, Charlie," Bella declared, confidence painting every word with maturity that could not be questioned. "I'll leave tonight."

The defeat in Charlies eyes appeared so suddenly. I've seen my prey taking their last breath have more hope. "Why do you keep leaving? What's going on?" He whispered all of it.

I heard Bella sigh. "I don't want to leave," she spoke softly, her eyes beginning to water.

The moods these people went through never failed to astonish me.

"There are things you can't know, dad," she continued apologetically, weighting each word with seriousness. "I want to stay but not to be a prisoner... I've had enough of that... You have to let me do what I need to do, because whether you support me or not, I'm going to do it." In a quieter voice, "I need Victoria, and I will be with her."

Charlie looked completely exhausted as I watched him randomly turn, take the chair he'd knocked over in his fury, and gently place it at the table. I could see his hands were trembling. He finally met Bella's eyes. He looked pained but didn't speak. When he looked at me he sighed.

He turned his eyes to the floor and spoke, "Can you at least respect my house and not do..." Reddening he made a nervous motion between us with his hand, and lamely emphasized, "that... here. You may be an... adult, but I am still your father."

I frowned. He was forcing her to make another lie. The man sets himself up for disappointment. Ah, well, I'll never let him catch us again.

"Yes, of course," Bella assured, blushing with him, trying to maintain her confidence.

Nodding awkwardly and preparing to exit the room, he said in an unsteady voice, "We'll talk later." He went in to his bedroom. I heard him collapse on his old bed with an exhausted groan.

I still held Bella hand, and so I gave it a meticulous squeeze. She just blinked in acknowledgment.

"Do you think he hates me," I asked. I'd had enough tension for the day. Only this morning Edward had thrown me around a bit and now Charlie had raged his rage. I was really hoping to smile again before the sun was down.

Taking a deep breath, she slipped her hand from mine to stretch her arms above her head. She arched her back like a cat, sticking her chest out. I took a moment to imagine how good she would look doing that without clothes on.

"Not as much as Edward," she finally answered. "Its strange. I feel both elated and guilty."

"That's okay." I didn't have a clue how to comfort her there. I almost felt guilty for working Charlie up the way I had. Almost. "In a way, this is sort of my fault," I tried to offere.

She rolled her eyes and huffed, "It is all _your_ fault. This is not the way he should have been told. Everything is very delicate right now, Victoria. Don't you understand?"

Knowing she was touchy, flying on adrenaline, all I could give was a meek 'I'm sorry.'

She was going to make a reply when the kitchen phone began to ring.

"Hello," she answered, clearing her voice of all that had transpired.

"Bella, could you and Victoria come over sometime today?" I heard Alice Cullen ask. She spoke innocently.

Bella looked to me. I thought on it for a second. A deep part of me, a part I often indulged wanted to see the Cullen's again just to gloat that Bella had chosen me over their poster boy. Deciding this would amuse me greatly, I nodded my head in encouragement.

Hesitantly, she made her reply. "Yeah, sure. I am not sure when..." After a brief pause to muster up the courage, she whispered into the phone, "Is Edward there?"

"He left Bella," Alice's voice was not as soft as it was.

Her eyes closed. I could not tell if it was in relief or sorrow. "See you soon," she said, and without waiting for a reply, hung up the phone.

I was at her side in a second. "Its okay," I offered again.

She just shook her head. "I feel so guilty."

I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck softly, trying to guide her to my body, but she shrugged out of it. "I want to shower. You should change. Your clothes are wrinkled." She quickly kissed the corner of my mouth, and then silently made her way to the bathroom.

This was the most insane day I'd ever experienced. I was happy Bella was mine but also disappointed with all the issues I'd have to take on. They felt like weights trapping me from flying, from being free. I'm a vampire. I didn't really consider anything outside of being able to have Bella choose me. So much had to be sorted – Charlie, the Cullen's, Bella's humanity, the Volturi. Is this what I really wanted?

* * *

**A/N:** So, I'm doing this again as an effect of the reviews that keep showing up every time I check my email. My summer is very dull. I've got the time. I also want to attempt redemption from the terrible writing my 14-yea-old self exhibited (I am really not sure anymore of what age I started it). Other than essay's, I haven't written in years and years. I'm 18 now. Hopefully I can best my younger self, but I'm pretty nervous. I promise to have a plot this time. I am a lot less dyslexic, but still struggle with dysgraphia when given the opportunity. Thanks for sticking with me. Special thanks to Rioshix and Avanwolf for the confidence in taking up fanfiction again.


	2. Consideration

**Consideration**

* * *

The sun had only been down for an hour or so when Bella and I slipped out of the house with nothing more than a murmur to Charlie.

He was sitting stiffly on his chair in the living room, watching a football game. His eyes were too glazed to be giving much attention to the screen. My guess is that he was working to distract himself from the stress of being a father. He must feel so helpless in not be able to protect his daughter from the pale faced creatures that lurk in the shadows as we do. Although ignorant of what we really are, Charlie seemed to sense the danger we posed. I felt bad for him.

He stiffened when she informed him of Alice Cullen's invitation, but didn't give more than a tense nod of acknowledgment. I could see his jaw clench.

"I don't think we'll be long, dad," Bella said quietly.

I prayed it wouldn't be. I was in no mood to go play house with the Cullens tonight. I'd didn't owe them half as much as they'd taken... James... But I was over that. Bella had chose me.

"What do they want," Bella wondered out loud. The rumble of her truck made it hard to think at all. After all this time of being this superior being, the height of my senses could still agitate me. I remember how overwhelming it all was as a newborn – the radiance of colors and light, the smells, the textures. I relished the strength but never the consequences.

We hadn't spoken much since the blow up with Charlie. Only a word or statement here and there. Despite my boredom with the general mood of the house, I was too nervous to try to taunt her in to forgiving me, so when she broke the silence in the house with a smooth kiss on my neck, I was surprised.

"Let's go," had been the command that followed the affection.

The girl who had been Edward's and the girl who had chose me were becoming contradicting in behavior. I couldn't tell if Bella was suffering from some strange hormonal spike that was building up her self-confidence or if she was coming down from the whirlwind she had been before falling from Edward's grasp.

It was Esme Cullen who answered the door, giving us a sweet smile. I liked that it wasn't faked or forced. She generally felt the warmth she expressed at our arrival.

Much like the Swan residence, the Cullens' house was relatively quiet. Apart from the foot steps, the hum of music, and the creak and rustle of furniture and fabric, there wasn't much action from the occupants the way there was my last visit. Again, it seemed like this was going to be another dramatic interaction.

Esme led us through the house in the direction of the study, Carlisle Cullen's study. The house really was wonderfully decorated, even the smells of the wood complimented each other, giving the house a glowing warmth, despite its open spaces. I offered this thought to Esme. It was received with proud agreement.

"Of the few house we have," Esme said with her bell toned voice, "this one is my favorite."

"As it is mine," Alice chimed in, appearing on the right of Bella. I occupied her left.

Alice looked as if she wanted to greet Bella with a little more than the friendly smile she gave. I could see the hesitance sweep through her body. She wanted to hug her. Esme had the same shiver when she had opened the door. I was beginning to see how much these women really did dote on Bella. Rosalie was the only Cullen I knew to not openly enjoy Bella's company.

When we reached the study, Carlisle stood from behind his desk in greeting, as was the custom of his era.

"Good evening, Bella, Victoria" he welcomed politely. Like his wife, Carlisle meant his kindness.

I had been to this room in my last visit to this house. A lamp had been broken. I noticed it had been replaced. If only I could replace the memory I had here with a new one. My first experience in this house had been a ridiculous, suffocating one.

Carlisle offered us the couches to the corner of the room. It seemed that the business we had today would be sorted with a smaller number of Cullens than the amount I had received. The two couches were positioned in an L form. Bella and I chose one couch while Carlisle, Esme, and Alice moved to the other.

Once situated, Carlisle asked. "How are you, Bella?"

Bella shifted a bit in her seat but raised her head. "Considering everything that has happened, things are okay."

I remembered the blow up I caused this morning and regretted it. She really didn't need the added stress.

Carlisle nodded thoughtfully. Esme's eyes softened with pity, and Alice frowned. I rolled my eyes and looked out the nearest window. What more did they expect her to say?

"And you, Victoria? How are you?" Alice asked softly.

I looked to the Cullens and they were all focused on me, waiting. Not the type of pretentious waiting I was expecting to see. They earnestly waiting for my reply, completely interested, almost anxious... as if they cared.

Taken aback by their attitude, I awkwardly shrugged. "Yeah, I'm fine." Frustrated by being caught off guard, I couldn't withhold my impatience. "Hey, will you please tell us why you called us over. Charlie probably won't sleep until Bella gets back." And the man needed to sleep. I had plans for Bella that night that was to be better accomplished if Charlie wasn't listening, if you know what I mean.

Clearing his throat, purely a human habit, Carlisle began, "Yes, well, we wouldn't have bothered you two so soon after... Well, Edward has left again."

"We blame neither of you for that," Esme interjected, looking more at Bella than me.

Looking straight at me was Alice. "Edward's leaving before had consequences, and we understand that."

Consequences? That was a smooth way of putting Bella leaving him for me.

"Of course," Carlisle confirmed. "Which is why we asked you over to discuss what to do now."

"Now?" Bella was confused as was I. What was there to discuss. She chose me. She's with me. What does this have to do with them?

At this, Esme stepped in again. "Bella, we love you. You've become a part of our family... I pray you feel the same about us."

"You are in more danger than you were before now that the Volturi is involved," Carlisle entered.

Bella stiffened and then relaxed. "I become a vampire, and they leave me alone. That's the deal," she said simply.

At that Esme frowned. "It shouldn't have to be that way, Bella. You shouldn't be forced in to this life, and we're willing to protect you from that."

Esme's eyes were passionate. She would not let Bella be harmed in anyway. I could see this. She considered Bella her daughter.

Shaking her head, Bella explained, "But its what I want. I want to be a vampire."

"What about Charlie, Bella," Alice submitted, "and your mother? Your friends? Are you really ready to say goodbye to your humanity so easily?"

Bella grew silent, guilt taking over her features again. Had she really not considered that. And anyways, who were they to try and change her mind.

"Bella will die if she is not changed," I stated angrily. "If not slaughtered by the Volturi's dogs then by some freak accident or, god forbid, old age."

Carlisle spoke gently. "Death is the natural order of things, Victoria. Bella has a right to that order."

I narrowed my eyes. "You just proclaimed to love her, and, yet, you sit there, willing to let her die. That's a little backwards."

"Victoria," Esme tried to sooth, "We understand your point, but Bella should have a choice. In our family, we consider mortality to be a gift, a gift to be respected."

"Then how is it you have such a large family? Clans don't often form and hold with simple alliance. They are born into." I couldn't help my voice from carrying the chill that made Esme frown.

"That's different," Alice defended.

"And Bella's case isn't?" I countered sharply.

I was getting worked up. It felt as if they were challenging me personally with this talk of keeping Bella breakable. It was the warm pressure of Bella's hand on my arm that settled me.

Again, raising her head in independence she spoke, "I understand both arguments." She looked to me, an apology carved into her features. "I will consider both. I have time, right?"

It was Carlisle who answered for the Cullens. "As much as God allows."

Bella wasn't looking for their guarantee but mine. It would have been right to assure her, but my spite wouldn't allow that kindness. "As much as the Volturi allows, Bella."

That reality didn't effect her as much as I thought it would. She just sighed deeply and looked back to the Cullens. _That's mature_, I thought to myself.

Silence lingered around for bit before being broken by Papa Cullen. "Do you two plan on staying in Forks?"

Looking back at me, Bella answered unsteadily, "We haven't talked about anything like that yet. Victoria?"

"If you were, we'd stay to insure your safety," Carlisle assured.

"That is," Esme cut in, her face twisting in nervousness, "if you wanted us to. We'd not bother you or try to come between you and Victoria. We just want you safe." Esme voice was pleading.

At Esme's devotion, Bella reached out and touched her twitching fingers. "I care for you all just as much as you do me. If Victoria would stay with me, I'd like to stay in Forks, finish school, and be with my dad, you know."

_Well, then,_ I thought, _it doesn't really matter what I want now, does it? _I felt like I'd been set up. If I contradicted staying in the shitty little town, I'd be the ass. I know now that she wasn't trying to be manipulative or pushy. That's not her nature, but in that moment, I felt a wave of resentment. _How dare she corner me like this? _

Carlisle's business tone drew me out of my angry thoughts. "Any legal documents needed to secure your residence, Victoria, I can have drawn up by the end of the week. You're too mature to attend school with the rest of our children, but if you had any aspiration for further education or a career, it could be organized easily. We have many connections as well as a great supply of funds."

"You're welcome to anything we can provide," Esme promised, her face hopeful. Was she looking for a new daughter? I highly doubted I could be anything so precious. Me? A Cullen?_ Jesus Christ, how did I get here_, I asked myself.

Trying my best to sound polite, I asked the burning question. "Why?"

Esme and Carlisle both seemed surprised by my question, but it was Alice that answered me.

"Bella is a part of this family as much as Edward was." **Was?** I noticed the word instantly. She didn't linger on the statement. "Bella was accepted by this family through her relationship with Edward, and we are offering you the same treatment."

The logic was clear, but the reasoning wasn't. I was their enemy not too long ago. I know they care for Bella, but can that make them completely rewrite their opinion of me? Can I reverse my option of them? They killed James. I hate them. Hated them? They were offering pretty heavy opportunities to me this evening. Why weren't the others here to give me and Bella their sincerity?

I voiced this thought. "Strange that Rosalie isn't here to try to persuade me. I know she's not Bella's biggest fan, but I thought me and her were really growing something."

Carlisle's posture became sharp. "Whether you believe it or not, Victoria, we are a family. We are a family that has lost a member. They are grieving."

Feeling as if I've overstepped a line, I backed off.

Luckily, it was Bella who had the next word. "I am grateful for all you have offered tonight. I really do love this family."

At that declaration, Alice leaned forward, excitement wide in her eyes. "You'll stay? You'll stay in Forks? We'll all stay in Forks?"

Smiling sweetly, Bella replied. "I want to, but too much is going on right now for anything to be sure." Grabbing my hand, Bella explained, "Its not just about what I want. We'll need to talk about this."

Bella knew that I would be where she was, so, in that moment, she seemed the most considerate, caring person I had ever met. In my marriage and in my love with James, my opinion was hardly ever considered. Bella really wanted the Cullens. She really wanted Forks. Despite this, she was willing to chance it all because she cared about how I felt.

* * *

**A/N:** This was suppose to be a lot better, but I got too tired by the end. Anyways, let me know what you think. I would very much appreciate constructive criticism. I know my writing needs improvement. I've gotten rusty. Help by telling me where, please.


	3. Terror

**Terror**

* * *

The thrill that never failed to consume me coursed through my body as I sped through Forks' surrounding forest. The clouds were so thick that not even the moon could dust the blackness of the night with the weakest of it's light. I felt completely unchained from the yoke I'd been burdened with while being in Forks. I hated having to pretend to be human more than I hated actually being human

My muscles felt sore at the end of everyday from being clenched up the way they had to be to successfully appear human - walking, sitting, talking, and even breathing all had to be done at a disgustingly slow pace. Of course my "sore" muscles was a mental pain, and it was not as if I was a total stranger to having to behave this way. There has been many times in my life when I was less wild and more sedentary, times when James and I chose to live amongst humans like civilians. However, we were never civilized enough to keep up the act long. Lust for freedom is a vice - an addiction I shared with James.

It was a windy night. It heightened the experience for me while it would aid in cleaning any scents that could linger. Without alarming Bella, I needed to get as far away from Forks as I could to avoid notice in the inner parts of the town. It needed to look like an accident. I didn't want the Cullen's to come sniffing around after me. I didn't need a lecture on the value of human life. I also didn't want to have to confront Bella's gentle mind once again with my nature. The sooner Bella became a vampire, the sooner I could stop pretending. I yearned to have her running along side me, hunting, furious and beautiful.

That thought alone made me want to get Bella away from Forks and away from the Cullens. They would try to raise her as a domestic animal, convince her that the natural compulsions that come along with being a vampire were to be denied, tamed, and deemed sinful. I killed the man who tried to tame me. Bella needed release so desperately. Why else would she gravitate to such creatures as us? I could taste the want on her lips, smell it on her skin, and see it in her eyes more than ever now that she was no longer held down by Edward. As naive and young as she could be, she craved freedom with the ferocity of any of our kind. However, she was caged by her human conscience. It always seemed to riddle her with guilt when given the opportunity. Guilt was a feeling I long ago learned not to indulge.

Two weeks had passed since the meeting with the Cullens. Bella and I made no move to contact them. We still hadn't reached a consensus on what to do. Bella loved them dearly, as they did her, but she loved me more. Every time we discussed it, which we did rarely, I was very tempted to take full advantage of that fact and demand that we leave the next day. I didn't though. Not because it was below me, but because I kept wondering if I was overestimating Bella's devotion. I didn't want to risk rejection. Instead, I went for a different strategy. I set out to appeal to her sympathy. While I didn't bring up James, I implied many times that the Cullens had hurt me more than anyone had in decades, and that I could never change my feeling over that. Bella's rebuttal, even I had to admit, was well reasoned. She said that my feelings about her had changed from the ones I held initially, suggesting that anything was possible if given the chance.

Chance was a game I was very well acquainted with. For example, what were the chances of me catching the delicious scent of a boy miles into the trees at that hour of night. I hadn't really meant to go that way. Since I'd been in Forks, usually I would follow the wind east to one of the smaller towns where, sometimes, pretty girls with fair skin and dark features would wounder out to check the mail, take out the trash, or walk the dog. It was like they were begging to be taken. But that night, I'd been tantalized with a different menu that led me west to the water, and not nearly as far from Fork as I should have been. The smell was just too sweet to dismiss. Not even the strange repugnant smell that occasionally mingled in the boy's aroma could throw me off the hunt.

I didn't know he was a boy until I peered down at him from a high tree branch. Humans never look up. The thump of his heart rose in my ears, drowning out the other raging beats of the forest animals. My mouth, for lack of a better word, watered. I jumped from the tree to land behind the child.

"Shouldn't you be in bed," I whispered into the boys ear as soon as I touched the ground.

He whipped around with a shout of surprise. He was tall for his age. Very tall. If it wasn't for the soft edges of his face, I could have confused him for a man. He would be soon enough, it appeared. He looked like he was one of the Native American boys that I had spotted goofing off during a an outing with Bella to what could be considered "down town" for groceries.

"Where did you come from," he gasped, backing away from me instantly. His instincts were sharp. It took most humans a lot longer to realize danger.

"Shhhhhh," I soothed, drugged with hunger. He was going to taste so good. "I'll make it quick."

I wasn't able to get more than an inch closer before interrupted by a force that sent my body sailing in to the trees. The smell, the heat, the heartbeat.. All of it was so wrong! I didn't have to look at what had hit me to know I'd gotten myself into something I wouldn't be able to handle. As soon as I'd stopped leveling trees, I jumped up and ran in the direction of Forks. It followed me. Whatever was chasing me could not be something that flaunted itself in the sight of humans. I needed to get to a house, a restaurant, a store – something. Oh, God, the snarling, the panting, the vibrations the monster sent through the earth with every step brought out fear I hadn't known I could feel. If I could shit my pants, I would have, especially when the sound doubled and then tripled. The wind whirled the scents of the monsters around me, furthering my terror. I ran faster, and so did they.

I was sure I was caught when a shadow that I was too out of focus to make out tackled me from the left to the right. It was a body, and it was small. I moved to fight my way from it's grip.

"Victoria! Victoria!" It struggled to hold me down. "Its me!"

The voice matched the scent. Alice Cullen.

"The-there-there's," I stumbled in my terror to speak. We were going to be caught! Those things were going to kill us! They were going to kill me!

"Calm down," she insisted in a whisper. "Its okay. Relax!"

My body followed her demand instantly. A soothing wave of placidity overcame my anxiety, leaving me almost numb, causing me to forget the impending doom that was after me.

Alice was helped to her feet by the sever Jasper Cullen. Once his mate was secured, he reached down to offer me assistance. He look more like he wanted to hit me than help me, but when our skin made contact, the feeling of ease intensified. I felt like my emotions were made of feathers. This must be what sleeping feels like, I thought randomly to myself. When I was on my feet, our contact was cut, and I was brought back to reality.

"She was not aware of the treaty." Carlisle voice was forceful but tense. His stance mirrored his tone with good reason. He was crouched in an defensive pose facing off a huge wall of fur and teeth. They looked like bear sized wolves. _Werewolves_, the thought finally occurred to me. _But its not a full moon..._

I looked away form Carlisle to see the rest of the Cullens stationed behind him, looking just as prepared for battle.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a part of the dark wall fall to be replaced with the figure of a man, a tall one. He was nude, but that aided his presence. Even in the dark, his tan skin rippled visibly, every muscle contracting, as if switching gears.

"SHE TRIED TO KILL ONE OF OURS," he roared as his face contorted into total fury. The wolves to his sides growled menacingly and pounded their paws into the earth, throwing up dirt. It was like there was an invisible line that they were all at the precipice of.

The Cullens crouched lower. I backed away a few steps, so tempted to run.

Fearlessly, Carlisle spoke. "She is new to our family. She doesn't hold our diet. She wasn't aware of the treaty. We would have stopped her if we could have, but she crossed into your territory... And now she is in ours. She didn't harm the child. The treaty still stands. We'll handle it."

The wolves howled and snapped. The nude man seemed to vibrate with just as much anger as his pack. When he spoke, his voice was pure acid. "Should this happen again, should any vampire - yours or not - come in from your side the treaty is broken!"

At that promise, Carlisle eased slowly to a stand, and then nodded. The darker man glared at each Cullen, his eyes landing lastly on mine. He held them for a few moments, as if challenging me. Then quickly, yet smoothly, threw his head back, shed his flesh, and morph back into the fur he originally wore.

"This will not happen again," Carlisle swore, backing away from the pack. The wolves growled lowly but backed away. The one that had talked with Carlisle howled to the night sky (the sound thunderous) and then took off into the trees, disappearing.

A large, firm hand grabbed my arm tightly. I jumped in surprise, still very on edge from all that had just passed. The hand gripped me tighter.

"Don't you think about running off," Emmett Cullen warned.

"Emmett," Esme's voice chimed. "Let her go."

It wasn't until Carlisle's insistence that he freed me.

Rosalie, looking at me warily, took Emmett's hand and urged him into a run. Their figures faded away as they zoomed into the forest.

Carlisle spoke next. "Where is Bella?"

Finally feeling grounded and not so close to death I replied in the most sarcastic tone I could muster, "I ate her."

"She's sleeping," Alice assured.

Without an ounce of hesitance, Esme approached me. She gently put her hands on the sides of my shoulders. "Are you okay." Her eyes begged for an answer.

Uncomfortable with the contact and care, I looked away from her and shrugged. "Of course."

"There is a lot to explain. Would you follow us home," Carlisle asked, speaking very carefully.

Knowing I had no real choice, I nodded.

Emmett and Rosalie Cullen were not at the residence when we arrived. I heard Alice mumble something about patrolling to Esme in a voice meant to soothe. I was led this time to the front room of the house, the main living room. It was as perfect as everything else the Cullens had. I seated myself without prompting, readying my temper for what was sure to be an ordeal. Esme, Carlisle, Alice, and Jasper placed themselves in the couch set that were placed in a U shape. I sat at the middle couch, the lowest point of the U, while Esme and Alice sat to one side of the U while and Carlisle and Jasper to the other. They positioned their bodies to face me. I hated how I could feel each pair of eyes on me. I felt trapped.

"How did you know," I asked, wanting to fill the silence but also wanting to cool the burning questions I had.

"I saw you," Alice spoke instantly. "I see you a lot... The hunting..." she looked very uncomfortable to admit it. "When you went blurry, I knew something was wrong."

What else does she see? "That's kind of creepy – the watching me part - but obviously useful."

"I don't watch you," she clarified. "I just see things sometimes..."

I didn't believe her.

"She saved your life," Jasper's deep, accented voice entered. His face was as stern as ever.

Grudgingly, I acknowledged this with a nod. "Thanks for that... Now, what the hell are they?" I was grateful, but I wouldn't show them that.

Carlisle was the next to take charge. His voice took on an erudite quality, like a teacher giving a lecture."They are the natives of the reservation. They are werewolves of a kind. Their story is that their ancestors became werewolves to protect themselves from vampires that were attacking their people. They hold that tradition today. They scout their land regularly for any vampires. Other than us, no vampire has ever entered the area successful and survived... You are the new holder of that honor..."

Werewolves that change anytime they wanted? Is that what he is saying or just when there are vampires? I didn't ask to be educated though. I didn't want to. Instead, I asked the next question that throbbed my skull. "How is it they let you live right next door? You spoke of a treaty?"

"Yes, we made a treaty with them. We drew a line," Carlisle explained. "We do not cross onto their reservation ever, and they do not attack us. It was a treaty very hard to establish. It took us years to ensure them of our diet."

"You've all but completely broke that treaty tonight," Jasper's voice broke in. His volume was soft but I heard the rage behind the words.

I sent a glare to Jasper Cullen. "I didn't know about your damn treaty," I spat, and then looked to Carlisle. "Of all the time I've been here, you never once mentioned it. I could have been killed!" They wanted me part of their family? If it weren't that they'd saved me this night I would have believed they were just waiting for me to wonder on the wrong side. Then there would be no one to stand in the way of Bella.

Esme looked to her lap, a frown carved into her face. "We didn't want to tell you because we thought that it would influence your decision to stay with us." The confession was toned with shame. "We had Alice keep an eye on you to make sure you didn't hunt outside of the boundaries."

My eyes flickered to Alice. She was examining her nails. I knew it. They spy on me.

"We are truly sorry, Victoria," Carlisle stepped in before I could vocalize my heated disprovable of being treated like a pawn. "However, we have harmed ourselves more than we have wronged you. The treaty has been crippled to a very dangerous level. Before, were a vampire not of our family to cross the line, they'd just be... They'd be to the Quileute's mercy. Now any nomad on their land will jumpstart a war."

"Elaborate, please," I prompted.

"They'll attack us should you or any of your friends wonder into their domain," Jasper's voice was even lower than before, full of hate.

Alice sighed. "She really didn't know, Jasper."

"Now, well have to monitor the current of vampires that come to Forks or risk battle."

The solution seemed obvious."Why don't you just leave...?"

"Because this is our home, Victoria." Esme's voice was passionate but gentle. "Here we never have to hide."

_Except on sunny days_, I thought. This was just another reason to leave Forks. Sitting here would be suicide. The vampire population was much larger than most would think. There was no way they could keep track of every nomad to pass by, especially in a ideal town like this. It really did have the perfect weather for travel... and hunting.

After a bit of silence, I was decided. "Yes, well, this is all very unfortunate. I apologize for my part., but I think that Bella and I will not be staying for the party."

Esme gasped and looked as if she would cry. Alice stiffened. Jasper frowned. Carlisle flinched They looked so pathetic in their devastation.

Silence filtered into the room, stagnating the air. I craved to leave that house. I needed Bella. She'd no longer fight me on this once informed of the fine line the Cullens now walked with these werewolves.

Plucking up the courage to speak, I awkwardly excused myself. "I need to eat before I go back to Bella, and it is very late... I'll go east."

I did not wait to be sorrowfully dismissed. Without looking at any of them, I quietly and quickly left the room. When both feet were out of the house, I took off in a full sprint. Port Angeles was further than I wanted to travel, but it would be an easy hunt. I probably wouldn't be back before Bella woke up, but that was a small price to pay. Nothing was more uncomfortable than being surrounded by warm blood while hungry. It made pretending to be human that much more difficult.

* * *

**A/N:** I am going to end up writing some of the character's behavoir differently than last time. I can't remember how I tempered them in the last story, and I am too afraid to try to figure it out. Thank you for the reviews! I meant to reply to all of them but was foiled by the girlfriend. Again, constructive criticism is very welcome. Also, I still don't have a name for this fic.


	4. Immoral

**Immoral**

* * *

There was so much on my mind that I could hardly focus on the warmth that coursed through me as I drank. I don't remember the taste, nor the face. And I always remember the faces. All I can recall is that she had dark hair, and smelled like honey... or was it caramel... It was something akin to sugar... Anyways, I was sure she'd distract me from the events of the night. She didn't. However, she soothed the burning. I could return to Bella.

I groaned to myself as I slowed to the front of the house. Alice has been here, I sighed. The sun hadn't been up for more than an hour or so, and yet one of the Cullen's had already come and gone. Figures. They'd jump at any occasion to interact with Bella. She'd not tried to see or talk to any of them in the past month.

Immediately, I could tell that whatever had happened while I was gone, whatever was said had caused the muscles in her shoulders to tense. I wanted desperately to rub the stress away. Breakfast was made for that morning. There was a heat and aroma that could only be produced by cooking. It reminded me of Sundays in England. Bella, paying little attention to the actual act, was washing dishes. This was a bad sign. While not a messy person, so seeing her clean was not uncommon. However, dishes was one of the things she did to take her mind off stress, almost like meditating. Its weird, but so's the fact that I could interpret her habits.

It wasn't the best way to go about greeting her, I admit, but I couldn't resist. I had enough of dramatic situations for the day, and just wanted a moment of normality... Whatever that was for me.

"Victoria," Bella screamed angrily after I surprised her with a good pinch on her cute butt.

Before she could really heat up her temper, I spun her around into my body, cupped her face, and carefully pulled her lips to mine. So soft, so warm. Uh, I needed her always. I wanted this always. Her arms wrapped around me. So warm. Her tongue is as sweet as the scent of her hair. Her breath came in gasps. She moaned. So warm, burning almost. Burning? I smelt it as I tasted it. Salt.

I broke away. She dipped her head into her chest, hiding behind her hair, but clung tighter to my body. I saw tears rolling down her cheeks and collect at her chin to drop silently to the ground. They didn't belong there.

"Bella? What's wrong?"

In the most pitiful of voices, all craggy and broken,"You scared me."

I couldn't help it. I laughed.

She snapped her head back and glared at me.

"It's not funny!" she growled, and tore away from me, angrily shoving her hands back into the soapy dishwater.

I was humored. I knew she didn't like to be surprised and hated it even more when I pinched her, but she'd never reacted like this before. If it wasn't so adorable, I would be bothered by her irrationality to a little spook.

"I'm sorry," I said, trying my best to sober my amusement.

Hands soaking and face red, she twirled around, and pounded on my chest with each word, "You could have been killed!"

Ohhhhhhhhhhh, I though as realization dawned on me.

She stomped away. I instinctively followed her. Not knowing what to say, but feeling the need to say something, I sputtered, "It's not my fault!"

She trudged on, taking the stairs two steps at a time.

"They didn't tell me! They purposely didn't tell me! How was I supposed to know!" Once in her room, she whipped around to slam the door in my face. I stopped it with my foot. "No, Bella! How are you mad at me?! It's not my fault! I didn't do anything!"

"Except try to kill someone," she screeched, and attempted to slam the door again. I stopped it, again, but this time I forced it open, causing her to stumble backwards. The look of disgust and conviction in her eyes caused a spark of anger to flush through me.

"I am a vampire, Bella," I growled, seething, glaring, stalking, forcing her deeper into the room, and never breaking eye contact. "Yes. I tried to kill someone. It is what I do. I kill people."

Her back hit the window on the opposite side of the door.

"You don't have to," she braved, weakly.

"No, I don't," I said lowly, darkly, "But I like to."

I hated it! I knew this was coming. It was what separated me from the Cullens, from Edward. It was considered my subordinate quality in their eyes, and that same thought was reflected in Bella's. No one had used it as a threat yet, but I knew it was only a matter of time. However, I didn't expect it to be Bella herself.

"If you want someone holy," I continued. "I'm sure Edward is still available!"

It had escalated very quickly, I know, and Bella didn't deserve my anger. It is just that the Cullens had not only caused Bella to look upon "non-vegan" vampires as immoral, base monsters, but had also caused me to question myself of my own nature, my own beliefs. Not out of guilt or shame, but because it hurt to know that Bella disapproves of the my way of life. Anger was my first response because it is my first defense. After all that had happened that day, Bella pushed just the right button.

Bella eyes were cast to the floor. He breath came out in short puff. She wanted to cry. I immediately felt guilty, but also very vulnerable. I just couldn't let of the thought that she might love Edward still. She might leave me. Out of concern for her and my own insecurity, I guided Bella into me. She gave most of her weight to my form willingly, wrapping her arms about my neck, burying her face in my hair. She wasn't shaking with sobs, but I could feel the coolness of the tears on her cheek on my skin.

Petting her hair, I spoke as softly as possible. "I'm sorry. I love you."

She just nodded slowly.

I gently picked her up, moving at pace that would not shake her, and laid her on the bed. I climbed in besides her, and rested my head on the flat of her chest, tucking in under her chin. She wrapped her arms and legs around me. She kissed my hair a few time, and then fell asleep. We would talking when she woke up. I needed a break as much as she did, if not more.

* * *

**N/A:** I know this is short and way overdue, but senior year is proving to be the most busies, most stressful time of my life. I'll try to get back into this. It will really pick up speed after college applications go out, I promise. Thank you for reading, and double thanks to those who reviewed before that I didn't respond my thanks to before. I appreciate your input. It is very encouraging.


	5. Heat

**Heat**

* * *

Nearly three hours had passed and Bella hadn't woke. I was getting antsy. I never mind lying with her, but after awhile, I become irritable. Add the drama of what had passed to my natural anxiety, and every second felt like an hour. The only way to keep my raging thoughts (which were mostly fantasies of killing a Cullen) was to count her heartbeat, measure her breaths, and watch her face as she dreamed. All it all, it was really pretty boring.

Bella's lips liked to swell, especially her bottom one. Bella could not be considered a "beautiful" girl in today's standards. Today's beauty is so garish, and, more times than not, plastic. Bella, however, in the society I was cultivated would have considered her perfect. Her face is so pristine in its simplicity. Her features, from the shape of her ears to the flare of her hips, are so subtle, humble and natural. To watch her live, is like watching the seasons change. Her movements, while sometimes off beat, hold a sophisticated patience, like water on a craggy river or an autumn leaf caught in a breeze.

I watched her chest often. It intrigued me. Its both soft and solid. There is such strength in every breath's rise and fall, but also a delicacy that just screams her mortality. Wildflowers can withstand a hurricane, but crumbles to the slightest jostles made by a human hand.

Hmmmm. It was this delicacy, this vulnerability that made her so erotic in my screwed up head. She matched every quality that was required to entice me – ash brown, deep, dark eyes, chewed, plump lips, a long neck, small frame, pear shaped, petite waste, strong thighs, heart shaped ass. You didn't need to know that last bit, but, at the same time, you really did.

It is so strange. Before Bella, I'd never found myself attracted to women, despite their attraction to me. Well, honestly, I'd never really been attracted to anyone before. There was James, but it was not his body that I was attracted to. It was the games.

James... I hardly think about him anymore...

"Oh, thank god," I grumbled as Bella began to stir. I moved above her to hover over her body.

Furrowing her brows, she drew her arms above her, dipped her head back, arched her spine, lifted her chest flush into mine, and moaned, "Hmmmmmm, Victoria."

She was just stretching and complaining about my weight above her at the same time.

She relaxed back into the bed and lazily opened her eyes, batting her thick lashes a few times in protest to the light. Despite my mind's clear understanding that it was not a coy move to seduce me, my body did not. I didn't even attempt to hold back. The stumbling putter of her heart as I captured her swollen my mouth with my own made me want more than the kisses she'd held me at bay with for the last two weeks. Our tongues grazed. Her mouth was so hot. If I had to describe the taste, 'hot' is the only word I can find that justifies its vintage. Her mouth was the only time a sensation could be likened to a taste. It made me burn.

I groaned when she shifted so that our legs wedge together, my left between her right, her right between my left. So much heat! We hadn't been this close in two weeks. I deeply regretted letting Charlie find us in that position. Bella hasn't let me access anything other than her lips since then. It almost wished I was still ignorant to what the rest of her tasted like. Then kisses would sedate me. However, as she drew her hands roughly down my back to grasp my hips, it appeared as if Bella's resolve to stay respectful to Charlie's house was failing.

Just as she pushed her hips forward and guided mine down, he pulled into the driveway.

"No," I growled against Bella's neck.

Bella froze. "What is it?"

Then she heard the car door shut.

"Get off! Get off!" she gasped, scrambling to get away from me.

I rolled off of her with a heavy sigh. It was noon on a Wednesday! What was he doing here! I considered sneaking off stir up some trouble on the other side of the town. A trouble that would keep him working for weeks.

Bella ran to her dresser mirror, fixed her disheveled hair, frowned at her swollen lips, and groaned at her flushed cheeks. She looked beautiful, but also very sexed.

"Hey, Bells," Charlie called. "You here?"

At his request, Bella spun dramatically on her heels and looked at me wide eyed, panicked. "What do I do?" she whispered.

I blinked at her. "First, calm down," I replied dryly. "Go take a cold shower, and I'll go figure out why the hell he's here."

Swallowing hard, she nodded. Taking the most ridiculous posture - back hunched, shoulders high, she tip toed to the bathroom.

"Hello, Charlie," I greeted.

He had been in the motion of sitting down on the chair when I spoke. With more quickness than I would have expected from him, he shot up. Man's got better reflexes than his daughter.

"Victoria," he huffed. "You snuck up on me."

No matter how hard of an attempt I made at being human, I can never accomplish the subtle art of being "obvious." I surprise Charlie often. I move too smoothly and step too lightly. He never hears me coming.

He fell back into his hair with a sigh. "Bella here?"

"Of course. She's showering."

As he dug around in the side of the chair cushions for the remote he asked, "You guys don't plan on going anywhere, do you?"

"I'm not sure."

Understand that his tone was not accusing. He's come to have a form of respect and trust for me. Even though I have turned his daughter into a lesbian, I am the one who got Bella home safely after she "ran away." That meant something to him.

"Well," he paused for a moment to bask in his success at finding the remote before continuing "don't go anywhere too soon. I have some friends coming over that have never met Bella."

Great... More blood to deny. "I'll tell her." Skillfully pacing my next question to avoid sounding worthy of suspicion, I asked, "You're back early?"

Like a sixth sense, his eyes flashed to me. He knew. I don't know how, but his eyes at that moment convinced me he knew. Father intuition, I guess, which is kinda strange (if not creepy) when considered.

Sighing, he began, "There is a game is on today I can't miss, so I clocked out early. I really wasn't even suppose to go in today, but I just wanted to make sure everything was in check, you know."

I nodded. "Oh, okay. Would you like me to get anything for you guys." I may be a vampire with not experience in cooking, but I could diligently pour some chips in to a bowl.

He smiled. "Naw, we'll be good. Sue, Harry, Billy, and his boy should be here any moment now." Flipping on the television, he continued, "Sue is bringing over a feast. Hope it doesn't get cold... The reservation is just far enough away to chill it, but it tastes better that cold than it does reheated, I promise you that. Have you ever tried Quileute food yet, Victoria?"

Quileute? Like... the tribe... of werewolves...?

Before anything else could be said, the doorbell rung, and I smelt it. Dog. Wet dog.

* * *

**A/N:** Yeah... That's gonna happen. ;)


	6. Jacob

**Jacob**

* * *

My body flipped into its highest level of alertness. I don't know how I contained my facade when I opened the door on Charlie's request to welcome the group, but I did, with more humanity than I would have ever expected of myself. About twelve hours ago I was trembling in fear in their presence. My mind would not be fooled so easily this time. I would not run. Not this time.

When in their repugnant animal form, they are truly terrifying, even to my standards. However, in human skin, they were just flesh and blood, no different than something I would consider a drink, not that I ever would. The stench of him alone was enough to turn even my stomach! I'd rather spend eternity living off the blood of rats than be forced to take a sip from one of these brutes.

Despite my instincts being on high alert, I played the part better than the boy. The hair on his bronzed skin stood on end, his eyes strained and pupils dilated, but the most obvious part was how he shook with a violence that any human would notice.

"Hello," I greeted airily.

Because he knew what I was did not mean that the humans with him did. Although I was pretty sure the crippled one did. From his wheelchair, he sat wide-eyed, glancing back and forth chaotically between me and the boy beast. The others held a similar expression, but it was not one that I was unfamiliar with. They did not even take note of the boy's behavior. They were captivated by me, as they should be. I am designed to enchant the human eye.

"In here guys," Charlie's voice filtered in from the living room. "Hurry up! The game has started!"

"Well, uh, hi," the woman greeted finally, stepping forward, offering her hand. "You must be Victoria. It's great to meet you. I'm Sue."

Smiling kindly, I gingerly took the woman's hand, letting my eyes quickly flash to the boy to assess his response. His body tensed as his heart rate shot up.

"You're freezing," the woman exclaimed on contact. Instead of pulling away from my ice-y skin, she brought her other hand to my own and tried vigorously to create enough friction to get some warmth into them.

"It is cold out here," I lied, throwing in a shiver. "You guys should come in."

"Great idea," Sue agreed. "C'mon on, boys."

Opening the door widely, I pressed my back against the wall to let them pass through. The first thing I noticed (besides their distinctive facial features and browned skin) was their height. They were a tall people. Sue was taller than me, nearly Charlie's height, I guessed. They filed in. Sue first. Harry greeted me shyly upon entering, and awkwardly shuffled into the living room with. Although still standing quite a distance away from me, I could tell that the boy was taller than them all.

"Not here, Jacob," I heard the cripple whisper before maneuvering his chair up the small step into the house. His heart fluttered uneasily as he wheeled by me without a word.

Then it was just me and the boy. The adults had could be heard shifting about the living room, jabbering with Charlie, calling out profanities at the television, or attempting to find comfort on the squeaky cushions of the couch. With all that was going on in there, if I were to yell, I doubt anyone would be aware enough to respond.

The boy's every (and well defined) muscle tensed and prepared for an attack, he stepped into the house. I still held my position against the wall, trying to appear as innocent as possible. If there was ever a thing I was born to be pitiful at, it was fighting. Running was my talent.

Suddenly, just as before he had his back to me, he whipped on his heels, at an impressive speed... for a human. Leaning menacingly over me, he growled, "Leave."

It was like fire radiated off of him. Pushing myself as far in the wall as I could to avoid his skin and its odor, I spoke with as much easy as I could muster. "I'm a guest, and a very welcome one."

Blinking back rage, the boys heart pounded the beat of a war drum. His body seemed to ripple with ire as he worked to control himself. I couldn't help but think that this was going to be bad. This was going to be very bad.

I can't ever decide if I am cursed or extremely lucky. Right before I was sure the boy would morph, Bella's voice cut into the crowded arch.

"Jacob? Victoria?"

He jumped away from me as if we'd just been caught having an affair. I took a deep sigh as I heard his heart begin to take on a more human rhythm. He was still livid, of course, but it was not the thrashing beat of the beast that I had heard before.

"Bella," he said tersely, but not venomous.

Taking measured steps forward, Bella watched us carefully as she approached. Much to my disgust, she went up to him and... and... UGH! She fucking hugged him!

Pulling away from him with a grin, she reached up and playfully jostled his hair. "You cut your hair. It looks good."

Jacob gave a stiff nod, and clenched his jaw.

Bella finally picked up on his aggression. "You're not upset at me... about... you know... leaving are you?"

Glaring back to me, Jacob seethed, "I know you didn't **just** leave Bella."

Her eyes widened in shock as she stepped away a bit from the wolf, looking between us anxiously. "What do you mean?" She tired to question him with a careless ease but it ended up sounding very choked. Then, suddenly changing her approach, she began to ramble, clearly panicked. "I ran away. Didn't Charlie tell you. You know how depressed I was. I just couldn't stay here any longer. I went to California, and Victoria let me stay with her. She got me to come back."

"Stop lying to me, Bella," he fumed.

"I'm not lying," she lied in her lying voice. "She's really helped me, Jacob. I wouldn't have come back if it wasn't for her."

His heart did a dive in its rhythm. "You wouldn't have left if it wasn't for her!"

Bella struggled to swallow, looking to me with trepidation, noticing for the first time my posture. She looked back at Jacob and shook her heard. "I don't understand," she whispered.

The alcove we were standing in was turning into a box, and it was getting smaller every passing second. The thundering of both Bella and Jacob's hearts was getting to me. It was like watching the countdown on a bomb. It would end in an explosion.

Not even attempting to disguise our relationship, I grabbed the side of Bella's waist and pulled her to my side. "Time to go," I whispered into her ear. Because she didn't have shoes, I smoothly picked her up and hiked her onto my side, like one would a toddler, and, at my natural, inhuman speed, flitted to the SUV I still held custody of. She didn't have time to even gasp.

I hoisted her into the passenger seat a little more roughly that I should have, and was in the driver's side before she could say anything in protest.

"Victoria," she yelled, outraged, throwing her hands into her hair. "He! You just! What are you doing!"

I turned on the car. "Its nothing he hasn't already see, Bella."

Waving her hands around, gesturing to Jacob who began to stalk towards the car. "It is only a matter of time, bloodsucker," Jacob called out, the sound seemed to rip from his chest.

"Victoria. What does he mean? What's going on?" Bella begged.

About five feet from the hood of the SUV, he threw his shirt over his head and kicked his shoes off, tossing them into the trees.

"What is he doing?" She stammered. Shifting the SUV in reverse, I began to pull out. As soon as the car gained distance from Jacob's form, he fell from his erected position and phased in direct sunlight.

Bella yelped. "Oh, my God!"

The panting wolf pawed at the ground ferociously as we peeled out. Before we hit the street, he darted into the trees. Luckily, it was in the direction of La Push. There was only one place in this deathtrap of a town that would make me feel secure, and, following the speed limit the best I could, I steered the way.

* * *

**N/A:** I hope I am doing this plot developing thing right...


	7. Rage

**Rage**

* * *

"Bella, Bella," I pleaded in the confined space of the SUV.

About a mile from the Cullen's, I had to pull off to the side of the road. I had no problem focusing as Bella freaked out to a near panic attack in the passenger seat, but I did not want to show up at the Cullen's with Bella in this state. And, well, also, while I hate to admit it, I don't like it when she cries. It makes me feel... weak, incompetent. I don't know how to explain it. It just wasn't right.

She had curled into herself. With her head collapsed between her knees and each word paused by a gasp, she repeated breathlessly, "Oh. My. God. Oh. My God. Jacob. Oh. My. God."

"Baby, baby, calm down," I begged, trying to unravel her from herself to get her to look at me.

"I. Can't. Breathe."

Trying my best not to hurt her, I grabbed her about her waist and shoulders, and guided her across the arch between the driver's and passenger's seat and into my lap. She was still cramped in on herself, but I didn't let her do so alone. I wrapped my arms around her as she sat legs to chest on my lap.

Her heart was wild. She was sweating, but the hair on her arms had raised into tiny bumps, like she was cold. The panic her body was going through was the same anxiety I often knew my prey to adopt. It is just so wrong to compare Bella to the things I eat. In my mind, there is such a difference between the two things (Bella and blood), but in reality... there really isn't a difference at all. I hate admitting it, but moments like this, it is undeniable, only accepted.

I really had no clue what to do. Shivering, she was clearly terrified. Her fear was not irrational. It was the same fear I had been reduced to upon seeing the wolves the night before.

Nearly thirty minutes had passed before she began to breathe easier, and as she calmed, so did I. It was only then that I realized how tense I was.

"I didn't know," she whispered against me. She sounded exhausted. "I mean, I knew. Alice told me of them, of what happened between them and you last night, but I didn't expect Jacob to be one of them... He's a werewolf..."

"Do you have any normal friends, Bella?" I mean, really. She's a teenager. She shouldn't be friends with only werewolves and vampire. It couldn't be healthy. Would I find out next week that she is tied to some unknown, underground cult of witches. It is almost ironic that she should be so shaken by finding out her friend is a big dog when she can sleep peacefully in the company of a blood-thirsty vampire, such as I.

Shifting to a more casual position, she looked around. "Where are we?"

"I... uh... I thought we'd go to the Cullen's, but I have a better idea now."

She looked at me with curious eyes.

"We need to leave, Bella," I explained with the most sincerity I could muster. Now that she's seen the size of the wolves, and she knows about the instability of the treaty, she should understand how dire the situation is.

She looked at me suspiciously. "What do you mean by 'leave'?"

"Leave Forks. Leave Washington. Hell, we'd be better off just leaving the country."

Where I was expecting rationality, she was frantic, "Leave Forks? What? No. Victoria, just no. I can't leave again. My father. The Cullens. I can't just leave them!"

"The Cullens?!" At that, I pushed her off my lap and back over to the passenger's seat. She shuffled over clumsily.

"Yes, the Cullen's, Victoria," she replied, exasperated. "They're in danger. We can't leave. We caused this!"

"This is their problem, Bella." I was practically shouting. "They created all of it! We have no reason to stay. In fact, we have more of a reason to leave. We owe them nothing!"

"We can't just leave them, Victoria." Her voice was timid compared to my tone.

"Yes, we can! I can," I clarified, glaring.

How is it that for being on my side, it never feels like she is on my side. I want to trust that she is with me, that she really chose me, but... Really?! The Cullens! Instead of life with me, she wants death with the Cullens.

The car became quiet as I waited for her rebuttal, but silence was the only reply I was given.

"Bella," I asked anxiously, but my voice was much softer than the last time I spoke. The silence had chilled my ire. "We have to leave. We can't get involved in this. You saw Jacob transform. They're main purpose is to kill vampires. This is not our battle. We can get out of here tonight, right now."

"No, we can't." Her voice was cold as her expression. "But you can."

My heart actually ached at this. It bit into me with a bitterness I can only describe as sharp, pointed, and so very intentional. She meant to hurt me, and that was more wounding than the actual words.

Looking away from her dead stare, I situated myself, and turned on the SUV. "Is that what you want?" I spoke with just as much ice as she had given me.

"You don't care what I want."

I glanced at her sharply. Her gaze was piercing, challenging. "I suppose it doesn't matter. If I wanted to do something with you, I could."

"You could."

It was dark of me, but, with the depth she was looking to cut me, she wanted the darkness. "Maybe I should just kill you now, since you're so intent on dying in this town."

Her heart skipped a beat.

I nearly grinned.

"You should," she replied stoically.

I flinched.

"I could," I growled.

"I know." Her words mimicked acid. Burning. Corroding my resolve.

Too outraged at her words, I jerked the car into motion.

"Where are we going," she asked nervously.

I didn't answer.

"Victoria, please," she begged. She was afraid. How dare she be afraid. She just pushed all of my buttons, and she gets to be afraid of the consequences of doing so? She is insane.

Putting the pedal to the floor, I growled, "To our new family."

I wouldn't be without her, even if she wanted otherwise.

"I love you," she moaned in a whisper, pulled her legs back to her chest, and began to cry, but these tears felt like they belonged to me, like they were for me. I greedily accepted them. I deserved them more than Jacob, the Cullens, and even Edward.

* * *

**A/N: **Well, that escalated quickly...


	8. She Always Comes Back

**She Always Comes Back **

* * *

They were all waiting outside the house when we pulled up. It made me that much more furious, but I burned quietly, stoically. I had nothing to say to any of them. Bella, being at the top of the list of heads I wanted to rip off, was smart enough not to coax me into speaking the rest of the drive. She got what she wanted, as she always did, the little brat.

"Bella," Alice cooed, as she opened the passenger door the second I pulled the SUV to a stop. She pulled the tear streamed girl into her arms.

I growled and shut off the engine.

Slamming the car door shut, I stomped up to the porch of the Cullen house. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme stood side by side.

"Victoria," Carlisle greeted earnestly. "Your reluctance does not make you any less welcome in our family."

I glared.

Alice coasted Bella to my side. Sniffling, she gingerly stroked my clenched hand with her fingers. I had to close my eyes to fight the urge to push her away – far away.

"I need to hunt," I whispered and sped for the metropolitan.

Only blood would take my mind off the chains I'd wedged my own wrists into. I was more upset with myself than I ever would be with Bella. It was just easier to openly hate her than it was to hate myself at that moment, just as it was easier to take my fury out on the young girls I drained that night instead of Bella.

**Bella:**

"Are you hungry, Bella?" Esme's concerned voice broke through my nervous haze.

… She'd be back, wouldn't she? She said "our family." That meant us as one, together.

"I'm okay," I replied, answering the unasked question. Then my stomach growled in protest of my answer.

"Ha!" Emmett barked. "Make her pizza, Esme. She likes pizza."

"You mean, you like pizza," Alice accused.

Shrugging innocently. "I like the smell."

"Just don't attempt eating it again, Emmett," Esme teased.

Emmett made a face at the memory, and everyone laughed. Well, everyone who was in the kitchen.

Carlisle was called to the hospital. Jasper and Rosalie disappeared to "parole" the area for vampires that might be in the vicinity. The plan was to intercept any nomads that might intend on of entering Quileute territory. Alice said that they were taking shifts to secure the area.

I hate it when the Cullens' talk martially, like they're some sort of military echelon with tactics and formations. Even more, I hate that it is once again my fault that they're in a situation where they have are prepared for violence.

When she woke me early this morning to tell me of what happened with Victoria, the werewolves, and the treaty, Alice tried to persuade me to believe that the danger had nothing to do with me, but I am intelligent enough to see otherwise. Ever since I entered into their world, this family's been visited with nothing but danger and drama. If I never got involved with Edward... If I never forced Victoria to take me back here... If I just let go of the Cullen's when I should have, when Edward tried to do what was best for everyone, none of them – not the Cullen's, not Jacob, nor Victoria would be in this state. If I just took a hint and stayed where I belonged – a boring girl with a boring life in a boring world – then everyone would be okay.

Despite that I know this all as my fault, I wouldn't change any of it, even if it fixed everything. I need this, them, this world, Victoria like an addict needs her vice. I will suffer the guilt of Jame's death, Edward's absence, my father's constant stress, the Cullen's danger, Victoria's ire, and the threat against my existence if it means that I get to have some importance in the world, some relevance, and this love.

...She's going to come back. Every time she leaves, I worry she won't return, but she always does.

"Alice," I inquired for the fifth time that night.

She looked to me, sighed, and closed her eyes. I knew it was not fair to ask Alice to look. I couldn't even comprehend the horror Alice peeks into when she follows Victoria's future. It is a reality I work to ignore.

When Alice's eyes opened, they were darker. "She's still with... She's in Seattle, Bella. I'll tell if that changes. I promise. Trust me."

What she was really pleading was for me not to ask her to look in on Victoria again. It just seemed as if Victoria had been gone for days even though it has only been about four hours. The sky had just darkened.

After managing a few bites of pizza, I called Charlie to let him know that Victoria and I were at the Cullens', and might stay the night. Of course he asked questions that I answered vaguely, even tried my hand at lying. In the end, he just sighed, and accepted my apology for leaving so suddenly.

It's really amazing how much worry he can stand. It hurts me.

I stared ahead at the illuminated screen as Emmett battled animated dragons in his new video game. He sat to one side of me, and Alice to the other. She was scrolling through pages and pages of room décor on her Macbook, looking to transform one of the guest rooms into something Victoria and I would be tempted to occupy. Occasionally, she asked me what colors Victoria liked or what style of furniture she appreciated. Every question depressed me deeper. I couldn't answer any of them. I couldn't even remember her birthday, though I know she told me. Did she have a middle name? Were her eyes blue or green as a human? She had told me these things, I know! I just couldn't remember them.

Everything between Edward leaving me in the woods and seeing him again in Italy are dark, foggy memories of depression and disorientation. There are fragments of brightness and life and all of them surround Victoria, but the details are very dim and hard archive. Even I can see how pathetically human the fragility of my mind is, and if Victoria doesn't come back, I know I could slip away again.

At some point, I dozed off, nestled against Alice's cold shoulder. It was the loss of its chill that woke me.

"I was worried," Alice's voice filtered through me sleepy mind. "You disappeared for a few minutes. What happened?"

I opened my eyes a crack, and off to the corner of the room stood Rosalie and Jasper. They'd returned.

"The chief dog chewed us out for one of his puppies bad behavior," Rosalie answered.

Jacob?

Jasper's tone was of the same frustration as Rosalie's. "They were upset that we did not communicate that Victoria was with Bella, not us."

"What does it matter," Esme's voice entered.

"It doesn't," Jasper claimed. "Bella's dog friend risked discovery today, and, instead of finding fault in their pack's control, they're blaming us."

"Douche bags," Emmett called from somewhere upstairs.

"We can't be too upset with them," Esme reasoned. "We were unclear on Victoria's business here, and they must feel that the lives of their people, Charlie's friends, were put at risk. Victoria is traditional in her appetite, and so their frustration is understandable. We should have told them."

"Speaking of Victoria's appetite," Jasper cut in coldly. "She's not making a mess in Seattle is she?"

A deep sigh was taken. "I've counted four," Alice's voice whispered.

The room was silent for a moment.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," Jasper soothed. "Do you need to hunt?"

"I'm okay... Esme, does Carlisle really believes that she can change? I don't see the slightest diversion in her future. It makes me worry for Bella."

"In the end it is Victoria's choice," Esme replied. "As it will be Bella's."

"I won't live with barbarians," Rosalie spat, suddenly furious.

Jasper gave a humorless chuckle. "What do you think we are, Rose? We were all rogue at some point."

"Speak for yourself," Rosalie bit back. "Can you even recall how many you drained?"

"Rosalie," Esme admonished.

"Esme, you can't deny it! I thought this family had values. Jasper raised an army that massacred. He was barley able to go a week without killing when he showed up with Alice. Now, Victoria is with us, and she has made no commitment to our lifestyle. If Bella wishes to be a murdering monster, do we allow that?"

The atmosphere of the room became acidic.

Jasper growled. "Don't play holy, Rosalie. Murder is still murder, no matter the method."

"Jasper!" Alice chimed.

"What is that suppose to mean, Whitlock?"

"How many men did you kill seeking vengeance on your fiancée?"

"At least I didn't kill children, bastard!" Rosalie snarled.

I jumped up out of my "sleep" when I head the clash.

"Baby!" Emmett had Rosalie about the waist.

Alice stood in front of Jasper, both of her tiny hands on his panting chest. "Control her, Emmett," he roared. "She obviously can't control herself!"

"Out! Both of you," Esme demanded in the loudest, most aggressive tone I'd ever hear her possess. "Now!"

Emmett disappeared with Rosalie and Alice with Jasper.

Quiet re-entered the house. It was eerie.

"I'm sorry, Bella." Her voice was as sad as her pristine face.

I couldn't reply. I was in shock. I'd seen tiny, almost childish disputes between sects of the family, but, a personal and physical attack was an event I'd never even heard of.

"Is that normal?" It was all I could think to ask, and at that moment was my honest curiosity.

"Occasionally," she sighed, and grew grimmer. "Usually its between Rosalie... and Edward."

"Oh..." He's not here anymore. Where did he go? Where would he go?

Esme gracefully placed herself next to me on the couch. "Don't think too much about it, dear. It has just been a difficult last year."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I don't mean to cause so much trouble."

At this, Esme wrapped her arms around me in a motherly embrace. "You're a blessing, Bella. Not a trouble."

"But I am," I protested. "We are – Victoria and I. We don't have to stay. It would make things so much easier for everyone."

Esme pulled away from me, and looked searchingly into my eyes. Her golden irises were so warm that the anxiety I felt about what had just happened began to melt.

"Please don't ever think of that, Bella. We love you. This family needs you. It is your decision, of course, but never feel pushed away. You're one of our own."

Her sincerity made my eyes dampen. This woman was made all things kind and loving. "But, Victoria..."

She gave a soft smile, and even chuckled. "While, at times, especially today, it may seem like Victoria is less than loved in this family, it is not true. Victoria is a vital member now, and always will be... just as Jasper when he slipped, and Rosalie when she bloodied her hands. Just as Edward will always be a Cullen, and you my daughter. Building a family is like building a home. You can't add bricks and then take them out when it displeases you or the walls will weaken until they crumble. Give it time, Bella. Victoria is mature enough to realize what we offer her."

With that she kissed my cheek, and cuddled me.

She'd be back... She always comes back...

* * *

**A/N:** Haven't had a chance to edit it yet, but I just really wanted to get it up today. Again, sorry for the delay. Between finals, marathon training (I've got 3 weeks left), and college, I hardly have time to sleep. I hope you like this. I wanted to give a different perspective to it all. I hope it is not to cheap. I'll update soon. Promise.


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